Remembering J

This morning, I woke up to a phone call. From my previous boss. Having recently going back to my previous employment for an interview, I saw the number and thought, "Oh great, an answer already." I've been pretty anxious to hear whether or not I was going to get this.
The conversation is kind of a blur right now. She called, I picked up. "Hi, I have some really bad news." I heard her voice crack. I thought to myself, "So I didn't get the job, it's not that big of a deal." She asked if I was sitting down and that I should. That's when I find out that a colleague of mine when I worked there just passed away suddenly. What?!?!? I couldn't say anything, I was in shock.
She told me it was confirmed and proceeded to read me her obituary. I couldn't really absorb anything she was saying, I was having a hard time believing.
How could this happen? She was so young. She had two kids. She was getting married this month. That's when the tears started burning my eyes.

Then I started thinking how this could have happened. If she knew. If something could have been done. What will happen to her kids now. How her fiance was coping. How much she will be missed. All the great things we went through together. The first time we met.

She was like a big sister to me. She listened and gave me advice. She was there for me all the time. And now she won't be. Am I ready for this? Her funeral service is tomorrow. I have all these memories running wild in my head and I don't know what to do with them. I don't know how to deal.

I've only been to a friend's funeral once right out of high school. I had a hard time and we weren't even as close. The only thing in my head now is...how??

Jeannette (J), I will always think of you and always remember you and always miss you. You left behind your love and the memory of someone really great. Rest in peace.